Advice Columnist and Relationship Expert, Emily Wilcox, author of  100 Lesbians Walk Into A Bar takes a much needed and revealing behind the scenes look at lesbian dramas regarding sex, love, family, cheating, money, breaking up, moving in, coming out, marriage and much more.

We asked Emily Wilcox to share with us some of the most common lesbian dating and relationship issues and how she would go about solving them.

What first gave you the idea to write a book called 100 Lesbians Walk into a Bar? Where does the title come from?

My former advice column “Ask Emily” (for women who love women) sponsored by Here Media inspired the idea for the book. I had so many questions sent to me by my lesbian readers that I decided to put them into a book that would hopefully help women out there who are stuck in a bad relationship, trying to fix a mediocre one or find lasting love. The topics in the book range from sex to loss to finding your perfect match. And I always try to make it fun and entertaining.

The idea for the title was because a bar is usually a place where we go to drown our sorrows and forget about life for a while, as well as a place to laugh and have a good time. I wanted to have a funny title because I needed readers to know that this was not another depressing self-help book. When you deal in matters of the heart, there is automatically an underlined seriousness to it. But this book deals with these matters in a light fun way, where I transmit information with a wink and a smile. If I had a more serious title, people could easily assume the book was not funny…or worse, boring!

The book is a compilation of questions and answers about lesbian dating and relationships, are these questions from real lesbians?

Yes! Or so they say, right? They are real people. I changed their names to protect their identities.

Where do they find you to ask you their lesbian dating and relationship questions?

I am no longer answering questions as I no longer write an advice column…at least temporarily. I took some time to write books instead. I also have an office in Studio City, California, where I do private coaching. However, if I get the occasional question, I am happy to offer my advice. My e-mail address is actually in the back of the book, so I do welcome questions and comments. I enjoy helping women and I have a passion for supporting them to access their best self, best relationship and best life.  Having come from a place of despair to a place of joy and well-being, I can easier support those women who are struggling with their own issues of self worth. And at the end of the day, relationships don’t have problems, people do! And if we have self-love, we will only tolerate so much silliness from outside sources and our partners. We will no longer need to seek advice externally because we will automatically do what is best for us in our relationships. Sometimes the word “compromise” gets taken to the extreme and we lose ourselves and our ability to think on our own. We should never have to sacrifice who we are in order to be in a relationship. This should never be the case.

You start your book with a chapter on break-ups. Why start there? At the end?

I never thought of it that way! You are right. The reason why I actually had the break ups in the first chapter was partially because nearly 50% of readers had pain associated with a recent break up. After all, women write to me because they have problems and that is a main one. I started the book with the most popular problem. It is interesting that you call it “the end” because I think my goal was to let readers know this can also be a “new beginning.” Not many people read my book because they are in a perfect relationship or feel like they have a perfect life. And I suppose that perfection never really exists, but through our perceptions. I perceive my life to be perfect. But surely, someone else looking in would have a very different perspective. Perception is everything in life and our happiness depends on our ability to change our perceptions. Good lord, am I rambling or what? I feel like the wanna-be female version of Deepak Chopra. How annoying! Ok moving on…

Are you ever surprised by the questions you get? What’s one question that has shocked or stumped you?

I once had a woman ask me if faking an orgasm made her a liar even if she knew it was enhancing her relationship. I told her that if she needed to fake it, lying was the least of her problems.

Why do some lesbians fall for straight women? What’s that about?

This is a multi-faceted answer and is always an interesting conversation because as you know, we are born gay or straight. Our sexual orientation and gender identity are the two things in ourselves we cannot choose. So, why then do some lesbian woman think they can possibly “turn” a straight woman? They can’t and some lesbian women know this intrinsically. Therefore, falling for a straight woman has a safety to it. On another note, ‘”femininity” can be more prevalent in the straight community and there are also so many beautiful women in the world that it’s hard to not fall for them—straight or gay!

Can (and should) lesbians remain friends with their exes?

Yes, they sure can as long as both women and their respective partners are in agreement. However, if you are in a newly committed relationship and still have residual feelings for an ex, it would be not be in integrity to remain friends. At least until both parties have moved on emotionally. But being friends with our exes can be such an asset to our lives. I mean, who else knows us better than them?

What’s the best lesbian dating advice you can give?

Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. We fall in love with truth. And truth, although we think it is hidden and invisible, is felt energetically. We have to remain authentic, even if we think vulnerability is risky. It’s much riskier to hide behind false pretences and alter egos in order to avoid opening up and hence, possibly getting hurt. So, when we are putting on airs, lying or trying to make ourselves appear a certain way, it will only backfire. We never need to pretend to be someone we are not. We should love ourselves exactly as we are at this very minute. There is nothing we need to be, do or have to be incredibly valuable to the world. We are worthy simply because we were born. We are lovable and deserving of love without fixing one single thing about ourselves. We cannot wait to start dating or looking for love simply because we want to “fix” ourselves first. We will never be perfect or without flaws, ever! We are perfect with our flaws. And from this realization, comes great confidence.

Where can people find out more about the book and ask you their own lesbian dating or relationship questions?

The book is on  Amazon and they can learn more about it from reading websites such as About.com!

Dean Nelson is the man behind one of the biggest gay and lesbian ski weeks every year up in Whistle, BC. WinterPRIDE features top notch skiing and snowboarding, but also a plethora of events and parties for skiers and non-skiers alike. WinterPRIDE in Whistler is one of the most lesbian-friendly gay ski events. Dean Nelson talks to us about WinterPRIDE and why the ladies love it so much.

WinterPRiDE – Annual Gay & Lesbian Ski Week: Feb. 5-12, 2012

Dean, tell me what WinterPRIDE is and how you got involved? -

WinterPRIDE is the evolution of Gay Ski Week.  In 2007 we re-branded Gay Ski week as we saw there was a bigger opportunity to reach more people by become more inclusive to both the skier/non skier, to the full spectrum of our very diverse LGBT community.  We have programming specific for the women, to the bear/leather/fetish, to the circuit queens and everything in between.  I first was involved with Gay Ski Week back in 1995 as a hotel partner, as well as a volunteer, and then in 2006 became part of the organizing group that took over the week long celebration.

There are a few other gay ski weeks out there, but WinterPRIDE seems to be the best at attracting lesbians. Why is that?

WinterPRIDE is a huge team effort and we are really fortunate to work with many wonderful community groups that are able to engage and listen to what our women are looking for and needing in a winter escape.  We are thrilled to have been able to work with http://www.flygirlproductions.com/ Flygirl Productions for the past three years and really taking our Shred Betties Bash to the level that are attracting the international and regional lesbian.  We also have created some fun programming on Friday with our Purrlesque party which got off to a great debut last year.

Why come to an event like WinterPRIDE instead of just going to Whistler for a ski week on your own?

The advantage of coming during WinterPRIDE is the village vibe is remarkably different.  Everyone loosens up, is having a great time and everyone can just be themselves without having to think in their mind, “Is this okay?”  Also many of our resort partners have exclusive discounts and promotions during the week therefore making your vacation budget stretch that much more.  You can also win some amazing prizes and of course you are meeting like-minded people from all over the world.  Many of our guests have found their life partners!  When WinterPRIDE is in port of Whistler…. it’s like being on the Love Boat!  Things can happen… just saying.

Tell me about the skiing and snow boarding. Do people all meet up to ski together or what?

Yes, everyday during WinterPRIDE, we assemble everyone that wants to ski/snowboard together into similar skiing/riding abilities.  This way you are able to meet other people at your own speed and have an enjoyable experience on the 8,171 acres of pure skiing bliss… our mountains can be a bit overwhelming for some of our guests from Minnesota!  This also means if you are in a relationship and you are at different skiing abilities you can break off and each have an amazing time on the mountain and come back and meet for lunch and later for apres without feeling guilty of either holding your partner back or pushing him/her into terrain that they are not comfortable with.  It has saved a many a marriage I reckon!

Are there races or competitions?

On Friday, Feb. 10th we have our annual Charity Ski Race… the race is actually a race against yourself where you need to guess your time.  So it does not necessarily mean the fastest racer wins…. it is the skier that is the most consistent.  Last year the winner guessed his time perfect!  All proceeds this year go towards the Whistler Health Care Centre.

What about newbies? Can they get lessons?

Yes, Whistler Blackcomb offers both private and group lessons.  When you sign up and let the guest relations know you are with WinterPRIDE they will do their best to link you up with other WinterPRIDE guests.

What kinds of events do you have for non-skiers?

There are so many amazing adventures to get into… we have the very passive adventures like culinary (mixology, wine tastings, beer sampling, progressive dinners), sightseeing on the Peak2Peak gondola, Inner Tubing, dog sledding, ice skating in the village, to relaxing and detoxing at one of our many spas… to more adrenaline adventures like Bungee Jumping, Snowmobile tours, ZipTreking, and new this year… Skelton!  Imagine hovering just inches off a sheet of ice clocking some 70 mph head first down the fastest sliding track in the world!  That is Skelton at the Whistler Olympic Sliding Centre… it is okay, totally safe… Skelton is the easiest of the three sliding sports and you have a full training session on how to slide safely!

What big women’s events do you have scheduled for 2012?

This year we have the incredible Purrlesque Party with the every outrageous Samantha Mack as our emcee / mistress of the night and headline acts include Burgundy Brixx and Madame Mae I with DJ Kassy Riot whipping the girls into a frenzy!  The Vancouver Observer said, “To watch Burgundy Brixx, was to see an artist at the top of her craft. In a sparkling green dress that set off her flaming red hair, Brixx was in total control of the audience, expertly choosing when and what to reveal.”
Of Course we have Shred Betties Bash coming back for another fabulous year with Mandy & Leigh of Flygirl Productions producing the show with DJ Riki Rocket and DJ Miss M and loads of beautiful snow bunnies to get you in the mood to party the night away.  All of our events are accessible to everyone, so besides these two signature events… the girls will be at the apres ski parties, comedy show with Vancouver comedian Julia Stretch and Hollywood comic Jason Stuart.

Is WinterPRIDE a good place for single lesbians? Or is it geared more toward couples?

WinterPRIDE has a diverse offering so we have both singles, couples and swingers!  So of course a single lesbian is going to have a total rage… as I had indicated earlier many guests have found their life partners here….

Anything else you want to say about WinterPRIDE?

We are celebrating diversity for 20 years… on Sunday, Feb. 5th we will be doing a retrospective during the Welcome party looking back at 20 years and where we have come… and looking forward to more fantastic years to come…. this year the Resort Municipality of Whistler (Town Hall)  has officially declared Feb. 5-12, 2012 “Pride Week in Whistler” and the Mayor herself will be presenting the Proclamation during the Thursday Apres Ski.  It is so exciting to see after 20 years the municipality recognizing the festival and giving us official civic status.  That is exciting!  We have come along way!!  We still have some incredible ski packages ($130/person/night for a 5 night / 4 day ski pass) to some stellar room only prices starting at just $119/night… so come on up and be part of the celebration!  Call 1.866.787.19

Epochalips is a new website primarily targeted toward lesbians 40 and over and their friends and allies. Some of the best names in lesbian culture contribute to the site including comedian Kate Clinton, filmmaker Nicole Conn and author Jewelle Gomez. We spoke with Robin Lowey founder of the site.

Robin, tell me a little about your background and why you wanted to start Epochalips.com.

After the break-up of a long-term partnership (27 years!) that included 2 kids and many satisfying years together, I found myself alone without an intact family. On top of that, my best friend died and I lost my job. So, instead of crawling in a hole, I did something cathartic for myself that has helped keep me sane. I started Epochalips as a way to reach out to our underserved community. We aren’t young but we aren’t old either. There is no shame in being a bit older and wiser. And without the community-based women’s coffeehouses and bookstores to help promote our various endeavors, I felt we needed a virtual space to share our successes and inspirations with each other.

Where did the name come from? (Love it!)

Epochalips (pronounced apocalypse) is all about the next chapter of our interesting, exciting lives.  The word epoch means a moment in time chosen as the origin of a particular era. This is our time. Lips is a good lesbian word. And Epochalips is….well….its just our name, OK? I needed a domain I could own that wasn’t already taken,

Who is the intended audience of Epochalips?

Lesbian baby-boomers. Mostly gals over 40 and their friends. There are plenty of sites that skew super young, and they will have stories about women my age every now and then as an afterthought. Epochalips is for us, with the youngsters as an afterthought. I mean—we are the ones with the interesting stories to tell, right? It amazes me that the queer kids don’t know that it wasn’t always so easy to be ‘out’. We paved the way for the current generation of queer, bi, transgender youth. We are tired of being dismissed, its time to be worshiped and revered.

You’ve got some of the best lesbian writers to contribute to the site. Jewelle Gomez, Kate Clinton, Nicole Conn, Margie Adam, Eleanor Palacios and Marga Gomez. How did you get such a stellar line-up of writers?

You know, each case is different. Marga, Eleanor and Monica Palacios have been dear friends for 25 years. Eleanor (The Battle Axe) has basically been my partner at Epochalips, and Monica (the Queer Senorita) is my favorite funny person to bounce ideas off of.  Eleanor knows EVERYBODY and steers me toward people I can trust. I guess I was subconsciously prowling the dyke march for prominent lesbians when I spotted Margie Adam and begged her to join our ranks. I contacted her no less than 10 times before she agreed to meet me for lunch. Margie suggested I reach out to Jewelle Gomez, who is my most prolific and dedicated contributor to date. Nicole Conn found me on Facebook and I visited her and partner Marina Bader on the set of their new movie, A Perfect Ending. They are genuinely nice human beings who are committed to helping others. It’s so awesome when we all help each other and play nice rather than competing. Eleanor introduced me to Kate Clinton at an NCLR event. Her publicist, Michele Karlsberg is a total sweetheart and helps keep me in the loop about Kate.

What kind of experience do you hope people will have on the site? What do you hope to do that other sites are not?

I want lesbians to read about themselves and their lives in a positive forum. Besides promoting lesbians various endeavors, I like to shake things up with posts about unexpected topics. What’s it like to be a genderqueer person getting breast reduction surgery? How does it feel to fall in love with someone 30 years your senior?  Is menopause an excuse for homicide? Who has restless leg syndrome and why is your dog in your FB profile photo? I want people to laugh, cry and be able to relate on a personal level to our site. I’m pretty sure no one else is talking about this stuff.

I know you and many of your contributing writers have been a part of the LGBT community for many years. What was it like to organize a lesbian event before the age of Facebook, Twitter, cell phones and even email?

Eleanor (The Battle Axe) says: Back in the day, we made flyers and distributed them to bars, bookstores and any business that would allow us to do so before someone ripped them down. We also shoved them into the hands of lesbians wherever we could find them. We even snail mailed some and actually dialed telephones to call people to make sure they were really coming. With those limited means, we tried to create a buzz.

How has the internet changed things for lesbians of your generation?

Well, considering that everyone’s attention span gets shorter and shorter every day with all the distractions, I think moving magazine forums like this online and providing byte sized tidbits of interesting stories is the way of the future. We are ON it.

What can we expect from Epochalips in 2012?

More fascinating content and increased frequency of the e-magazine html email. If you aren’t already signed up for our e-magazine, click here to get in the loop.

Specifically, we have in the works an interview series that highlights the top 20 baby boomer lesbians who have made a real difference and helped changed our world. We are headed to the final four in Denver this coming Spring to party and will have some awesome giveaways. We are growing by leaps and bounds.

Anything else you want to add about Epochalips.com?

YES! We are always looking for contributors. Right now you are probably thinking:

I want to contribute a story to Epochalips. What do I do?
First, hug yourself. Because you’re helping to make Epochalips (and our world) a better place. Then write to us for contributor guidelines. Email: info@epochalips.com.

Gina Noelle Daggett is an award-winning writer, director, producer, speaker, and columnist in Curve Magazine. Daggett is best known under the pen name “Lipstick” in the popular national advice column Lipstick & Dipstick featured in Curve. Her debut novel, Jukebox, was published by Bella Books (Nov 2010).

1. 1. Gina, we first heard about you as one half of the lesbian advice duo Lipstick & Dipstick in Curve magazine. How did you get your start as an advice columnist?

It all started with a piece of pizza.  Pepperoni.  I was writing for the Portland, Oregon LGBT paper Just Out and had attended their annual writer appreciation pizza party.  And wouldn’t you know, I sat down next to a butch woman named Kathy.  She immediately made fun of my sweater, which was fuzzy and bright. I made sure to let her know her jeans—which I could tell had been her favorite pair since she was in high school—were so 1981.

The rest is history. Or rather, herstory. We became allies first (our jabs were in jest) and then friends, and decided to collaborate together on a butch/femme column.  Gay papers picked it up, and so did our beloved Curve Magazine, to whom we will forever be devoted.  We love being a part of the Curve family.

1. 2. In your opinion, what are some of the biggest dating mistakes lesbians make?

It’s three things: 1) Moving too fast into something serious, 2) Making assumptions, 3) Having Mexican food on their first date. Beans + Garlic = trouble.

1. 3. What kind of lesbian dating questions do you typically get from lesbians?

Hands down, it’s “How can I meet women?” Also, questions like “Is it a date or just bubble tea?”

When it comes to dating, the biggest lesson lesbians need to learn is that we must be  a different kind of women when we’re dating each other.  Growing up, we’re told the boy will ask the girl out, he’ll ask us to dance, and he’ll get on one knee to propose marriage. He’ll call, he’ll pay, he’ll open your door, and he’ll make the moves.  Based on those norms, when you put two women together, sometimes we just stare at each other waiting for the other to take the lead, be the aggressor, be the “man.” When we first come out of the closet, it’s a role we’ve never had to play.

We must recalibrate the way we think and behave. If there’s a woman we really like, we need to take the initiative and be assertive. So what if we get turned down.  So what if it feels awkward.  We must push ourselves because that’s the only way we grow. Being forward with women is like French kissing; you’ll eventually get better, build your confidence and become a master.  Put yourself out there and stop being passive.

1. 4. In addition to being an advice columnist and relationship expert, you’ve penned a lesbian romance novel Jukebox. Give us synopsis of Jukebox.

Jukebox is a sexy, gut-wrenching love story. It’s a feast for the senses, an erotic, melodic, lushly-detailed coming-of-age about two privileged debutantes, Harper and Grace, who fall in love.

Writing Jukebox has been a true labor of love.  I wrote the story that I was searching for when I was in the closet many years ago.  A former debutante myself, there are some notes of truth within the story from my own life. Beyond it being a deeply-stirring romance, Jukebox takes you on a journey, one which examines the control that shame and fear have over our lives, both potent forces that will challenge their love to its very limits.

The project website has a host of goodies, including author interviews and the Jukebox playlist, which is the spine of the story.  http://jukeboxnovel.com/

1. 5. How different is it to write a novel versus writing a lesbian advice column?

It’s like comparing a hamster to a porcupine. They’re both living and breathing animals, but you have to approach them differently.

When you write a novel, you have to have some sense of where you’re going. Not all writers write this way, but I find it helpful because I’m a Sagittarius and tend to go on and on and on and on and on if there is no road map.  In fiction, you’re telling a story, too, so character development, scene setting, and manipulating tension are critical. These are all premeditated. Occasionally, you’ll get a cathartic surprise and the story/character will take you in an unexpected direction, but usually you have to work hard to get there.

Giving advice in Curve is more of a dance between Dipstick and I. We have fun, we play off each other, and usually don’t know where it’s headed.  It depends on the music (which is the question) and what mood I’m in.  Sometimes I’m serious, but usually I’m trying to infuse humor because I think it’s important to find the funny in life. Even when I’m being flip, however, I try to lace it with genuine advice. I care a lot about our readers and their genuine problems, despite my kneejerk humor.  That is evidenced in the fact we write every single person back who reaches out to us.  Unlike how I respond in Curve as Lipstick, it’s Gina who women hear from via email and that’s always sincere. It’s become a wonderfully gratifying element of what we do—the authentic connections and touch points we have with our readers off the page. I hope our schedule allow us to do that for a long time.

1. 6. Now you’re making films. What is it about film making that interests you?

Cultivating creative seeds really turns me on, so development is one of the best parts. I really love the form, too—a script (be it tv, film, stage) is such a specific craft and I’ve enjoyed learning the language and studying the great scripts of our time.

When I write fiction, I see scenes very clearly in my mind, like their being acted in a film, so that bodes well when I sit down to work on a script, and also when directing.  Other things I love: Being on set and saying the words “action.” It’s deeply invigorating.

Filmmaking also runs at the same speed I do—fast!  The fast rhythm of pre-production and production has the same measure as the beat of my heart. Making a film is the art of multi-tasking, problem solving, regrouping, refocusing, and acting on the fly.

Lastly, it’s magic to see ideas and words you’ve written manifest in physical form.  Seriously, magic.

1. 7. Tell us about adapting your novel into a screenplay and making a movie from Jukebox.

I’m hell bent on turning Jukebox into a film. I won’t stop until it happens.

I’ve adapted the novel into a screenplay two separate times from scratch on my own—just me, a stack of Post-it-Notes, and Final Draft. Maybe some red wine, too.

What I’ve realized throughout this adaptation process is that I’m too close to the story to be able to pull it off alone. I need another writer at the table who can come in, see things I don’t, tear the work to shreds and help make it a successful script. What works on the page doesn’t necessarily work on the screen, and I’m certain I need to kill more babies and birth some new ones.

Who is that writer? That’s the important question for 2012.  I have some ideas, but I haven’t made any moves yet. For the last few months, I’ve taken some time away from the story and plan on tackling it again after the New Year. I’m stoked about the upcoming months and want to make sure I make the right choice about co-writer, who I collaborate with creatively.  It’s an important relationship.

1. 8. You’re also involved with a reality TV cooking show in Canada. Tell us about that.

Oh we’re cooking up something sexy here in Vancouver! I have an incredible relationship with OUTtv (Canada’s gay network) and we’re collaborating on a killer cooking show. It’s called Forking Delicious and it features the recipes of an amazing chef, who is forking delicious herself.  (She also just so happens to be my sexy girlfriend in real life, so lucky me.) I’m the show’s host and her silly partner/sidekick in the kitchen.  We’ve already shot a pilot and are hoping to shoot the series in the spring/summer 2012.

1. 9. What more can one woman accomplish? What else do you have planned?

I wish there were more hours in the day!

Lipstick & Dipstick have some cool things in the oven.

Beyond Forking Delicious, my production company, Chateau Entertainment, has some projects in the early stages of development. A web series with hints of Reno 911, a sitcom and a couple book projects (including a Jukebox sequel).

Aside from the above, there’s also something really exciting I hope to be able to announce in the spring.  Right now, it’s top secret.

You can always follow that latest on my blog, which can be found on my website: http://www.ginadaggett.com

What is Lesbian Life?

Lesbianlife.about.com is part of the About.com network. The site is owned by the New York Times and has a sub-sites of more than 170 different topics. I write the topic for lesbians which includes everything from lesbian dating, to relationship advice, interviews with celebrities, lesbian travel, information about coming out, movie reviews, sex advice—all kinds of stuff that lesbians are interested in or want to know about.

Where are the best places for lesbians to travel?

My personal favorite lesbian vacation is on Olivia, it’s a lesbian-owned travel company that hosts cruises and trips just for lesbians. Some of my other top places http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/lesbiantravels/tp/LesbianVacation.htm are Provincetown, Massachusetts, San Francisco, Las Vegas, and of course, Palm Springs for Dinah Shore weekend. http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/lesbiantravels/ig/Dinah-Shore-2011/

What are some of your most popular articles?

Well, the sex articles are always the most popular. I have different “how-to” articles about things like oral sex, tribadism and even kissing. Those are very popular.  Anything about celebrities is also popular. People really want to know who the famous lesbian couples http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/famouslesbians/ig/Famous-Lesbian-Couples/ are and who celebrity lesbians are dating. Lesbian movies are also pretty popular. I have articles about the best lesbian movies, lesbian date movies, best sex scenes at the movies and movie reviews of more than100 lesbian and bisexual movies.

What about lesbian dating? Do you have anything on your site about lesbian dating?

Yes, of course! I have articles about how to ask someone out on a date, great lesbian date ideas for each season, cheap lesbian dates. I have an article about how to tell if it is a date or not, because sometimes with lesbians you can’t tell. I’ve got tips for flirting and how to tell if a woman is interested in you. I even have an article about how to break up with someone. And then there are places where people can share their lesbian dating stories. They can tell about fun date ideas they’ve had or share their worst lesbian dating experience. Some of those are a little scary!

What are some other things lesbians want to know about?

Well, I have a lot of articles about same-sex marriage. With gay marriage becoming legal in more and more states and countries, people are planning their weddings, so I have a whole section about how to plan a lesbian wedding.

I also hear from a lot of teenagers who are just coming out and need advice about how to deal with parents, or a crush that they have or even to help them figure out if they are lesbian or not.

You’ve been doing this for eight years now, what has changed for lesbians in that time?

Wow, so much has changed.  The biggest thing I can think of is that gay marriage has become legal in six states in the United States and same-sex marriage is now something that gets a lot of attention in the media. Public sentiment around gay marriage has changed so much in just the past eight years.

We’ve come so far on so many gay rights issues, like gays in the military and laws that prohibit discrimination. We’ve got TV shows like Glee on the air and an out lesbian, Ellen DeGeneres http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/lesbianactors/p/EllenDeGeneres.htm is one of the most popular people on TV. She talks about her wife Portia all the time. It’s quite amazing sometimes to think about.

Also, there are a lot more lesbian web sites out there. There used to be just a handful of lesbian sites and we all knew each other. Now, there are so many amazing sites and blogs for different interests and age-groups.

Yet also, we still have problems with gay-bashing and teen bullying. I think trans people are especially vulnerable to homophobic violence. But overall, I think we’re moving in a great direction.

Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask a gay or lesbian person, but didn’t want to seem rude by asking it? Kristin Flickinger figured that there were probably quite a few people out there with questions they wanted answered, so she started the website AskTheGay.com. The site has become so popular, she turned it into a monthly column that runs in Just Out newspaper in Portland, Oregon.

Kristin, where did you get the idea to start a blog answering straight people’s questions about gays?

The idea for AskTheGay.com came from a series of conversations I had with co-workers. I found that, if I brought it up, the straight women I worked with were eager to ask questions about what it’s like to be gay. And it seemed like there was a sense of respect and understanding that came with each conversation. I started asking my parents and their friends if they had any questions, and found that they all did.  They just didn’t know how to ask.  It made sense that people everywhere might have questions that they weren’t asking, as well. So I gave them an anonymous way to ask.

Are there certain questions you get asked over and over?

When I first started the blog, I got a lot of the same questions (you can read them in the <a href=” http://www.askthegay.com/category/faq/”>FAQ section</a>). There was a lot of interest in gender-dynamics, and sex. People wanted to know “Which one of you is the guy?”

Have any questions surprised you?

The questions don’t really surprise me. Everyone asks from their own experience. The response to my answers have surprised me, however. When I answered a question from a man who had written in about his wife leaving him for a woman after 26 years of marriage, he was so touched by my answer that he found me on facebook, became my friend, and now follows my other blog, <a href=”http://midleap.com”> Midleap.com</a> where I talk about my travel adventures. It was a beautiful connection we made.

What’s the strangest question you’ve ever gotten?

I honestly don’t see the questions as strange. People ask questions from wherever they are socially and emotionally. It’s the purpose of the site. I do find it interesting when people write to tell me I should “find a good man.”

Do your questions only come from straight people, or do gays and lesbians write in too?
I get questions from both queer people and straight people. I write a column for the LGBT newspaper in Portland, OR. I explore most of the questions from queer people there. You can read online at justout.com <http://justout.com>

Sometimes it seems like the questions come with an undertone of homophobia, yet you answer each one with sincerity.  Is it hard to do that?

I have found that people who ask questions are almost always interested in the answer, even if it requires them to open their minds a bit. It is critical to me to provide a space where people can ask questions of a gay person, with whatever language they have. If we can drop the fear that we will “say something wrong,” we can begin to have conversations as people, and not as labels. I try to make myself available in the same way in my day-to-day life. I’ve spent time on a riverbank in the middle of wilderness answering questions from a teenage boy who wanted to know how he could be an advocate for his friends who might be struggling with being gay. You never know where a moment of open conversation will lead, or what difference it can make.

Andrea Wing is the founder and CEO of BuskFilms, a new website where you can watch lesbian themed movies right from your computer. Prior to starting BuskFilms, she worked as a director and producer in the film and video industry. Her passion and leadership have been paramount to the development of all things Busk.

Andrea, tell me about your website Buskfilms.com.

BuskFilms.com is a video-on-demand site for lesbian film. We curate a wide range of shorts and features from around the world. We work directly with filmmakers to make their films available for rent on our site and then share the revenue from the rentals with them. Not only do we offer our community the chance to see high quality lesbian films; we also put money back into the pockets of filmmakers.

There are so many fantastic films that go through the festival circuit each year and many of these films end up getting lost or shelved. Busk is the new home for these films. Our stories deserve a platform to be heard.

The site is more than just a place to watch movies. Tell us about other features of buskfilms.com.

Well if you don’t already know us, we like to talk. A lot. We tackle a range of issues through our blog and interview some of the most interesting characters in our community. Tegan Quin just did an interview for Busk, which was really exciting and we chatted with the fantastic singer/songwriter Chris Pureka. I promise we don’t just interview rockstars.

We also work with film festivals around the world to showcase their programs. One of the neat things about this is that there’s usually a free film that the festival wants our users to see. We also have a FREE FILMS section on our site that has lots of great shorts.

We love to hear your questions and comments and encourage people to be vocal, either on our site directly or through our Facebook page or Twitter. We’re there, just come and find us!

A quintessential date is “dinner and a movie.” Why does a movie make a great date?

Besides being a perfect reason to be in a dark room with someone you like, you can also tell a lot about someone by what film they choose to see. For instance, if someone wanted to bring me on a date (hint, hint), please make sure the budget of the film is under 100 million dollars, and Tom Cruise isn’t in it. If it’s a good film, you’ll also need to go out after for stiff drink or a piece of pie to discuss it.

What makes a movie a good date movie?

This is so subjective but I would say something that inspires dialogue long after the film has ended. You want to know if your date sees beyond the pretty pictures on the screen. What’s the director trying to say? Another good date movie is a film that’s so incredibly twisted you need to spend the next three weeks or three dates unraveling the storyline.

What lesbian films would you recommend for someone going on a date with a new love interest?

Sticking to my theory above I would have to say:

1. Four Minutes: http://buskfilms.com/films/four-minutes/

2. Loving Annabelle: http://buskfilms.com/films/loving-annabelle/

3. Itty Bitty Titty Committee: http://buskfilms.com/films/itty-bitty-titty-committee/

4. My Summer Of Love: http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/lesbianmoviereviews/fr/MySummerofLove.htm

5. High Art http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0139362/

What are some of your most popular films on buskfilms.com?

1. Lady Pochoir: http://buskfilms.com/films/lady-pochoir/

2. She’s A Boy I Knew: http://buskfilms.com/films/shes-a-boy-i-knew/

3. Next Door: http://buskfilms.com/films/next-door/

4. Elena Undone: http://buskfilms.com/films/elena-undone/

5. A Marine Story: http://buskfilms.com/films/a-marine-story/

What is your favorite lesbian date movie?

How about I tell you about my most recent? We just picked up Tegan & Sara’s new 3-part film Get Along, which is an amazing snapshot of the band on and off tour. (http://buskfilms.com/films/tegan-sara-get-along/) Luckily I caught it in the theatre and really, there was really nothing better than rocking out to my favorite indie duo with someone I fancy. Oh by the way, if you want to watch this film on Busk you are going to need to be in Canada (or come visit) as we currently only have the rights to stream the film there.

Mary Gorham Malia is a dating coach and founder of the website gaygirldating.com. She helps women focus on authenticity, humor and daring to dream in their dating life.

Her business, Gay Girl Dating, LLC, was founded on the belief that lesbian, gay, queer, bi and transgendered women can live extraordinary lives when they understand the principles and practices that make life great and put these practices into action in their own lives.

Tell me about why you started the site Gay Girl Dating Coach.

The Internet has really evolved over the last ten years and with that it’s transformed the way we learn, connect and of course date. When I first came out there was very little useful information available for someone like myself.  Now any kind of information you want is easily available thanks to amazing search engines, easy to create blogs and websites and people that just want to share what they know to those that provide valuable services and products online.

As my own personal and professional life evolved, I’ve discovered deep satisfaction in making an impact in the lives of lesbians in my community and using the Internet to make that happen. Now some would think that means I’m involved in nonprofit work (I have been an Executive Director of national nonprofits in the past) but for me it’s been about creating community and connection for lesbians through meet-up.com and taking that experience even further with Gay Girl Dating Coach.

I started as a volunteer organizer of the Portland Lesbian Coffee House meetup group in Portland, ME and continued it when I moved to Austin, TX by starting the Austin Lesbian Coffee House meetup group. Both of these groups together have a membership of over 2000 women.

My experience with both of these meetup groups and the individual women that make up these groups has had a significant impact on my decision to reach out to the larger lesbian community across the US and beyond. My desire to help lesbians live their best lives requires the access to people that only the Internet provides and after a couple years of experimenting with ideas the Gay Girl Dating Coach was born.

What do you hope to provide that other blogs are not covering?

My main focus is reaching women in their 40’s, 50’s and beyond. Most of the really active writers I am seeing are women in their 20s and 30s. Now I love those fabulous, sexy, witty and young women but 1) I don’t want to date them and 2) my life experience is dramatically different because I am in a different stage of my life.  My ideal clients have a different sensibility and approach to life than a younger woman.

I don’t see anyone really reaching out to boomer gay girls to help them overcome the frustrations of dating and finding a relationship for life and there are so many of us. Not only do we represent women coming out later in life but many lesbians that have been out since they were born. The common factor for all of us is that we are struggling with the dating scene and struggling to make better relationship choices. It can be really painful and discouraging. I want to help boomer gay girls break that cycle.

Through my meetup groups, I’ve met so many women in this age group that are struggling with depression, loneliness, lack of friends and break-ups and don’t know where to start to build a new life or to date. Forget about dating online! That was my experience also when I came out 10 years ago. So I’ve not only been there and done that, I have the training and expertise to help others recreate their lives and have something better than ever before.

You’re over the age of 50. How is dating different for a gay gal in her 50s vs in her 30s?

There are so many things that are different about being 50 versus 30. I can still do all the same things, but I’m doing them a just a wee bit slower. Wink!

I’ve gone through menopause. Let me tell you menopause is not for sissies! I’ve got wrinkles, some saggy skin and gray hair that requires constant dye jobs. Staying in shape is much harder at 50 than 30 and most 50 year olds I know are over hanging out in the bars.

The deeper differences are in things like our goals that are reflective of the stage of life of a 40 to 50 year old versus a 30 year old. A 30 something is still in the early years of her career and if partnered she may be thinking about having babies. For a single 30 something, she may still be experimenting with what she wants in a relationship.

A 50-something is often at the peak of her career track, is settled in a community where she’s been for a while, may be taking care of elderly parents, have grown children and even grand babies but because she’s a boomer her mindset is one of always being youthful and adventurous. Or perhaps she’s already planning retirement (I don’t ever plan to retire but I’ve got plenty of friends who are doing it.)

I don’t know many 50-something women that are into casual sexual relationships but I meet many younger women that are very open to it. It’s not a judgment thing; it’s an emotional and generational mindset thing.

Those are some of the differences I see and I’m thrilled to be connecting with so many women coming out in their 40s and life-long card carrying lesbians that want to break out of the patterns of failed relationships.

You have a book about 14 Lesbian Dating Traps. Can you tell us what one of them is and how to avoid it?

Let’s call is a mini-book.  My favorite one to talk about is the Extreme Makeover Trap. That’s when you think you need to be something besides what and who you are in order to attract a lover and partner. So you go to extremes in changing how you look or what you wear or even what you do in order to “get” someone. Let’s say you love Amy Winehouse style music and wearing jeans and sandles. But the woman you are interested in loves opera and dressing up. Now you hate opera but instead of telling her that, you invite her to the opera, get yourself all dandied up in high fashion dress up clothes and tight shoes and head to the opera with your date. You have a miserable time, you don’t feel comfortable and you don’t get what’s going on in the opera culture. Big mistake. Plus that woman that loves opera knows you’re not having a great time. Bigger mistake.

The solution is to recognize that 1) you aren’t a good match for everyone, 2) be your most authentic self so skip the act and be real and 3) you really want to be loved for who you really are! That’s one of the best ways to a great relationship that can last. You will attract compatible women when you are being your most authentic self versus your fake self.

Tell us where to get your book.

My book is available at http://www.gaygirldatingcoach.com. Right now it is available as a free gift! You’ll see the info in the upper right hand corner of the first page you land on.

Your own story is you came out later in life after being married and raising children. What is it about your story that made you decide to help other lesbians figure out the whole dating scene?

I wrote an article recently and titled it: Your Age In Lesbian Years.  In it I talk about making the discovery that when you come out later in life, many parts of your straight girl life experience won’t help you in the lesbian world. It’s a different culture with different rules. Sometimes learning those rules is a pretty painful process. Like enduring a second adolescence.

I went through a couple of periods where I did a lot of online dating. And through that experience I started to learn some key lessons on how to successfully meet women online and how to not give your heart away at the same time. So perhaps my experience in learning balance and how it’s helped me connect with a great girlfriend is something I want other lesbians to experience also.

The real driver for my picking the lesbian-dating scene was the constant lack of really useful resources that went deeper than how to pick up a girl at a bar and get her to take her pants off. Or how to win at “8 minute” dating events.

I’ve found over the years that the rules of dating in the lesbian world seem to be hazy and confusing. Women suffer from wanting to be too nice and getting stuck in the dilemma of being friends with everyone and dating no one.  Knowing how to set up boundaries around dating is really valuable and I’m excited that there are so many women that want to go from unconscious dating to being conscious in their dating and relationship choices.

It’s work I’ve been doing for years and I’m excited to have found so many women that want to raise the level of happiness in their lives in the same way and want to get involved in singles coaching to help make that happen.

What advice do you have for women like you, who came out of a straight marriage and are interested in dating women for the first time?

The most important advice I have for women who are leaving their marriage to come out and live authentically is this: No one else cares what you’ve sacrificed to make this choice to live authentically! So stop focusing on it and get on with living your new life. Now on the surface that sounds harsh, but when you are hanging out with lesbians who had the courage to come out early in their lives and have had the courage to always live authentically – your whining about what you left behind is disrespectful of their courage and shows a lack of understanding.  It also says quite loudly that you are NOT READY to be in serious lesbian relationship as yet.  As hard as that is, think about dating for fun versus looking to get married again right away to a woman.  Take time to breathe, make friends in the lesbian community and build a new life that is balanced, fun and ripe with the good feelings of being your authentic self.

Clarisse is the CEO of the new lesbian internet site Lesbelib.com. The site offers lesbians blogs, news articles, information about the community, dating, relationships ad celebrities. Clarisse took a few moments to talk to Lesbian Dating about her site and what it has to offer lesbians.

Tell me the concept behind Lezbelib.com.

The concept is to offer a place where lesbians, bisexual and transgender women from all around the world can share and meet, where you can follow news, talk about subjects which relates to you, a place where you can feel free to be who you are.

How is it different from other lesbian sites out there?

Lezbelib brings daily news to keep informed on what’s going on in the world for our community.We also cover various topics to talk about music, movies as love, relationships, gender identity every week.

We write on celebrities but we also like to give more visibility to independent women out there who are very talented.

The site has some stuff for members only. What are they?

We develop a community part where, after a free inscription, you can access your profile. You can share pictures, videos, listen music for example. You will be able to access a forum and to exchange on all the things that you want without any censure. We also work to install a chat to give the possibility for girls to meet and talk together.

One thing that is different about your site than a lot of other lesbians sites is that you’ve got a lot of stuff on there about gender and transgender issues. How did you decide to include these kinds of stories in your site?

Cael writes about gender every week (school, work, family, …) and also share with us his personal experience and I think that, just like Cael, there is a moment in our life we wonder about our gender identity. Am I butch, femme, tomboy, ftm, …? Without wanting to have a label, we simply want to know who we are so I think it’s important to talk about it.

Is Lezbelib a good place to meet other lesbians for dating?

Yes, absolutely.

Anything else you want to tell us about “The New Spot for Lesbians.”

Lezbelib is an independent website so we don’t have all the resources to develop it as quickly as it grows but a lot of awesome things are coming!

As she was about to turn 50 Elizabeth Worley, a sensible southern lady who seemed to have it all, set out on a journey. Her travels eventually landed her in Panama, where she left her husband, found love in the arms of another woman and bough a coffee plantation. In Risking Everything: Coming Out in Coffee Land she tells her story of her inward and outward journey. She spoke to Lesbian Dating about her process.

Your book is about leaving everything you know behind and starting a new life in Panama. I think many people fantasize of doing something like you did, what gave you the courage to do so?

Honestly, I didn’t feel very brave—I felt desperate. Desperate to change my life, to break out of the rut I could see leading me from age 50 to the grave. A safe, predictable, socially acceptable, economically stable, highly respected–rut. It felt like the grave, already. I had raised my family, done my bit for society, tried very hard to be a good girl and I was dying inside. So, courage? Not really—it was fly or perish.

One of the things you discovered about yourself (or rather, allowed yourself to admit) is that you were attracted to women. Do you think you would have been able to come out as a lesbian if you had stayed in your life in North Carolina?

I have asked myself this hundreds of times. Certainly, by the time I left North Carolina in 2004, I was being more and more open about my attraction to women. I was certainly ‘on the prowl’ looking for someone…but it just didn’t happen. Would I have been able to fully ‘come out’ if I had met someone, there? I would like to say, Yes, but the tethers of my family, my community, and the way in which I was viewed by my professional colleagues were all pretty strong stuff.

I think, though, that the level of pain I was trying to manage by the time I left was so intense that I would have come out if I had met someone—or I would have been one of those sad, sad women who, if they don’t actively commit suicide, might just as well, because they are among the walking dead. I could not have survived much longer, wearing the trappings of that life.

This touches, however, on an issue that has been really present for me, even recently. That is, why wasn’t I braver, sooner? Why did I wait until I was 50? Was it really all about the family? Or was I, at heart, lacking in the courage to be authentic? Was I, oh my god!, afraid?

I think, Yes, I was afraid—afraid of censure, afraid of being ostracized, afraid of losing my children, afraid of not being strong enough to go it alone. For a long, long time I held my children, my social position and all that in front of me like a shield—my cover, if you will, to hide who at heart I knew myself to be (even if I only admitted it in the wee hours before dawn, or when I was too intoxicated to care). Certainly, as I wrote, Risking Everything, I had ample opportunity to ponder this issue. As I say in the book, at the end of the day, all the excuses were pretty lame. At the crux was the fact that I was gutless. Ouch.

I still, on occasion, really beat myself up about this. I like to think I am brave, on the edge, a trail-blazer, a feminist. I spent my entire career advocating for women’s rights, for god’s sake! It did not occur to me, until very late, that the right to be lesbian—or gay—was just as much a part of the fight against patriarchy as freedom from domestic and sexual violence and the right to reproductive choice.

It’s hard to face the compromises I made and not feel dishonest. Even worse, is the sense that I wasted so much of my time. I also feel guilty for the pain that I put my ex-husband (and previous partners) through—by blaming them for my unhappiness, when the key to what was really not right, was within ME.

Then, however, I watch a film such as I saw the other night, a story of two Spanish women living under the dictatorship of Generalissimo Franco and the Catholic Church. They are school teachers—one knows she is a lesbian, and the other doesn’t even have the language for it. The societal and political atmosphere at that time (the 1940′s) is such that one of them is arrested, then institutionalized for 4 years and subjected to repeated electro-shock, aversion therapy treatments, all because she lived openly with another woman and refused to marry. She emerges brain damaged, soul damaged, and even though there are moments of hope, in the end it is a tragedy. It is based on a true story.

Matthew Shepherd was murdered only 10 years ago.

In North Carolina, today, there is a movement afoot to pass an amendment to the state constitution prohibiting gay marriage. And, in October of this year, in western North Carolina near my former home, an elderly lesbian couple—one of whom is an ordained minister—were arrested! So I think, well…there were/are real reasons to be afraid, to hide.

Still, I am humbled by those of you who have had the fortitude to just be, out and proud, without compromise. My partner, Dianne, is one of you. She knew who she was at an early age, and at 17 in the early ’70′s she was out, on her own, and never looked back. I salute you all.

You talk about how, when you were struggling in your marriage, you went to self-help groups and tried to change yourself to make the relationship work. I’ve heard from many women who attempted to do the same when trying to come out as lesbian while married to a man. Are there any words of advice you can give to someone who is married and struggling?

It is just so very, very hard. There are all the exterior pressures. But, worse, I think, are the internal demons and voices. You think things like:

ñ  “Well, I must not be a REAL lesbian, or why would I have had relationships with men, had sex, and even—sometimes—enjoyed it?”

ñ  “Maybe I’m just a thrill seeker.”

ñ  “I can bury these weird feelings and live like I am supposed to—all it takes is will power.”

ñ  “Obviously, there is something wrong with ME, and if I just do enough inner work I can fix myself.” or, conversely,

ñ  “Well, there is something wrong with THIS particular man, and if I just change models, then I will live happily, heterosexually, ever after.”

ñ  “It must be because I was abused as a child, and if I can just resolve THAT, then I’ll be ok…”

ñ  denial, denial, etc. etc.

These days, I try to be gentle with myself. I try to accept that I did what I thought I had to do—rightly or wrongly, and who, really, is to judge? It’s my life.

That’s the advice I would give to other women: Be gentle with yourself. Be honest—even if you don’t tell anyone else, be honest with yourself. You can only do what you can do when you can do it. You’ll know when the time is right for you to make your stand on your own behalf. And when that time comes, trust the Universe. Seek out others to support you—and in the end, embrace the free fall. There will be a safety net for you. And where you land may surprise you like nothing else ever has.

What is life like for a 50-something lesbian living in Panama? Is the culture accepting?

LOL. Well, I turned 60 a few months ago. That was a shocker!!! I have been fully “out” for  6 years. I have never felt freer, more real, more honest. It helps that I am an ‘outsider’ –an expat—here, already, so I am not held to the same standards that a Panamanian woman might be. I have made friends with Panamanian lesbians and gay men. Some are very out, some are very quiet, some are closeted. While homosexuality is no longer criminalized in Panama (as of 4 years ago!), this is still a pretty conservative, Catholic country. But, as I said, the standards of Panamanian culture don’t really apply to me. As a ‘gringa’ it’s just taken for granted that I am weird, that I do things differently, that I live differently.

The expat community is pretty much comprised of ‘fringe dwellers’ –it takes a certain streak of non-conformity to up and move to another country. While some few are judgmental, most don’t care one way or the other.

Which leads me back to an earlier question—I do think that being here, in Panama, made coming out easier. After all, I was already in full self re-invention mode, so owning my sexual orientation, at last, was simply another piece of that. It also is important to note that it was here that I met Dianne—and there is nothing on the planet that would have prevented me from pursuing her and all that entailed. That was the free-fall—nothing else mattered.

I am one of the really lucky ones. For all my earlier fears, my children completely accepted the ‘change’ and love Dianne. My mother, my siblings and extended family, and the majority of my friends—though not all—have accepted all of it. I wish I had trusted them, earlier on—but then, if I had, I might not be here, today, with Dianne.

What was your inspiration to write a book about your experience?

Dianne and I were taking a short 5 day holiday together on the Pacific at Las Lajas. It was sunset, we were having a cocktail at the edge of beach, talking about things we would still like to do in our lives. I heard myself say, “I’d really like to write a book, but I don’t know what story to tell.”

Dianne looked at me, astonished. “Are you kidding? Tell YOUR story. It will read better than fiction!”

So I came home, and three days later the first line of the first paragraph came blazing through and I sat down and started writing. It took me 6 weeks to complete the first draft. It took two years of re-writing, editing, and letting it mature, to get it to fruition. Now I’d like to write another, but…I don’t know what story to tell. Yet.

Along your journey, you had an unconventional relationship with your husband. He, at times, encouraged you to have an affair with someone and even wrote a very sweet email to your partner. I think this kind of relationship is more common than some people will admit, but did you have any trepidations writing about it?

I had all kinds of trepidations (great word!). In the end, though, I had to tell my story, as honestly as I could. Certainly, I didn’t write about ALL of it…only enough for readers to get a sense of what the relationship was like. Can you spell, dysfunctional?? My ex-husband is a complex man with his own issues. Among other things, he never understood that giving me “permission” to have an affair—with a man or a woman—was deeply hurtful and insulting to me on so many levels. I felt devalued, dishonored. His attempts to embrace Dianne and be part of “one big happy family” ended as soon as he saw that I wasn’t coming back and he couldn’t control the situation—then it got ugly.

What’s next for you and Dianne?

We have started a new business, Cloud Forest Botanicals. We grow or wild-craft rain forest medicinal plants and make by hand herbal tinctures for a variety of health issues and a complete line of skin care products, which we are now selling throughout Panama and can ship to the US. We will open the farm, Finca Luz, to the public in December of this year for educational eco-tours of the Medicine Way. We also have a small guest house available for rent, and we will be hosting seminars and workshops. We are happy, working really hard, and loving the creative edge of it all. Check out our website: http://www.cloudforestbotanicals.com. Like us on Face Book!

Where can we buy your book?

Please visit my website, where you can order the book as a downloadable PDF, a Kindle, or a paperback. http://www.comingoutincoffeeland. Leave me a message, tell me your story. I’ll get back to you.

Blessed be.

Elizabeth Worley

Boquete, Panama