Lesbian dating can be intimidating at times.  You might really fall for someone but be left in the dark as to whether she is a lesbian or at least bisexual.  Women are coming out of the closet and online dating sites cater to lesbians so you know exactly who you are dating.  However, in the real world, we do not have the pleasure of knowing the sexual orientation of the person who is standing right in front of us.  Therefore, you can use these tips to help you in your lesbian dating experience to figure out whether or not the lady of your dreams is a lesbian:

• Start a background check – OK not a real background check, but start doing your homework on her background.  Where does she hang out?  Do you have any common friends?  Where does she work?  All of these answers can help you to figure out which side of the field she is batting for.
• Physical Appearance – There is no denying that a woman’s physical appearance can say a lot about her.  It is true that appearances can be deceiving but take a deeper look into what she wears, how she walks and how she fixes her hair.  You may be surprised to learn about her hidden lesbian habits.
• Subtle Clues – Some subtle clues as to your lady friend being a lesbian can be as simple as the jewelry she wears.  If you can spot a gay pride flag,, the Labrys, the Lambda or a double female sign then you may be looking at one fine lesbian.
• Her Favorite Hang Out Spot – Where does your lady friend like to spend her down time?  She may be a regular at one of the favorite lesbian hang out spots.  Where she spends her time, will say a lot about her as well as the people she shares her time with.  Does she seem to have a lot of lesbian friends?

Lesbian dating can be tricky and these tips will not always lead you to your mystery woman being a lesbian.  Sometimes we see and hear what we want to because we are blinded by love.  Nevertheless, these tips will help you to start your investigation as to whether she is a lesbian or not.

Lesbian dating can be difficult at times because it is hard to meet someone serious that has the same interests as you.  There are many lesbian dating sites that are online, but the majority of them have false leads and the women you might meet are not who you expect them to be.  So how do you meet a great lesbian online who will satisfy your needs?

One thing you want to look out for during lesbian dating is how out the person is.  Not all lesbians are completely out of the closet.  This may bother you.  You may want to be with someone who is completely out in the open about their sexuality.  You do not want to start a relationship and be introduced to her friends as a friend or avoid meeting her parents because she has not old them yet.  Some great sites like PlanetOut.com actually state how out you are so that you know exactly who you are dealing with.

When you put yourself out on a lesbian dating site, you need to be completely honest about yourself and your situation.  Don’t be a dummy, make sure that your ad is well written because online daters do not want be with someone uneducated.  Be up front about what you want with your lesbian counterpart but do not go on and on about what you want and don’t.  Make it short and simple.  Also, stay away from the boring clichés that everyone writes.  It is pretty obvious that you want someone attractive, who communicates well, is sweet, blah blah blah.

Now that you might have some hits, how do you respond?  You should always be cordial.  If you are not interested, then just let this person know.  If you are, then try to get to know the person a little more through online lesbian dating.  Once you know a little more about each other and know that this person is someone who you can get along with, then you might want to take your online dating to the real stage.  Remember, do not give out your phone number to just anyone.  Begin your dating communications through email and instant messenger.  You may want to make a separate email account for Lesbian dating contacts in case someone begins to harass you.  At least these mails will not interfere with your professional and regular personal life.  Once you decide to meet up, this may be the perfect time to swap numbers.

Going on your first lesbian dating adventure is a great experience.  However, there are many ladies out there who are new to the online dating scene or even the lesbian dating scene in general who have no idea what to do or expect on a first date.  Some things that you should know before dating are good places to meet up, what to talk about on a first date, how you know that there will be a second date and any other lesbian dating advice.

When meeting someone for the first time, it is a good idea to meet in a public place.  This means that there will be other people around you for your safety.  However, you may not want to meet somewhere like Times Square where there are people all over the place since dates should be intimate.  You may want to try a local coffee shop or even a simple bar.  This also gives you a simple out instead of having to go through an entire movie or meal with a person that you are not attracted to.

First date topics should be fun.  You do not have to get all serious and talk about the future.  You can talk about the things you like to do and what your date enjoys doing.  The best part about this is that you can tell if the person is interested because they will say “I would love to do that someday” or “Next, week I’m going, you should come along too”.  This is instant second date material.  Other things you can talk about are funny things that have happened in life, family, work and anything else that will keep the conversation fun and exciting.

When you meet someone in person for the first time after dating online, it is usually hit or miss.  You will know whether you want to see this person again and there should be some signs that lead you to second date approval. The best way to go is if you liked the person to say you would like to go out again or to say I’m glad I met you but I don’t think it is going to work out.  Be direct in Lesbian dating, you may make a new friend at least this way.

Other tips for Lesbian dating are to experiment with new dates.  Do not limit yourself to one person.  Play the field to see who is out there.  You may have just recently opened up about your sexuality so you may be able to find great friends, mentors and especially dates when you date online.

Many people would answer that they would date for love so that they are not ridiculed by their ulterior motives.   The truth is that there are only a fraction of people who date for true love.  Most are more interested in material assets, looks and even success.  Some of the most powerful couples in the world aren’t in love.  There is no passion.  There is no desire to give themselves up for the other.  The only look in their eyes is how they can get ahead.  When it comes down to your choices in dates, what should you date for?

If you are looking for financial comfort then the best option to date for is money.  Not every person with money will be attracted to you and many people can give off the rich vibe when in reality they are just a pretender.  You will have to hang out at places where the rich people flock to and you will also have to have the appearance of coming from money. These are usually tight nit circles.  The younger you are, the easier it is to date someone with money, regardless of what you bring to the table.

If you are looking to get ahead in your field of work, then you should make as many bridges as you can.  One way to do this is by dating someone who has power in the industry that you are working for.  This does not mean sleeping to the top.  You need to have a successful relationship with this person because as soon as you break up, all of your bridges that you worked so hard to build will be destroyed overnight.  By creating a healthy relationship with someone who is in a position of power, will help you to succeed.

Lastly you can date for true love.  You should be open to everyone; different professions, body builds and personalities.  Love can be staring you straight in the eyes but if you have your eyes focused on money, success or even lust then you will never experience one of the greatest joys in life.  With love, you grow with the person, you become rich together and you succeed.  There is no specific way to find love as love will usually find you casually.  Even if your date isn’t successful right now, it doesn’t mean that in 5 years he won’t be.  With love you can’t lose but with the rest you can lose a lot, including your dignity.

There are plenty of sites that help heterosexual people find a date, and ideas on what to do, but if you are part of the LGBT community, then many of these do not apply to you.  Here is a collection of blogs that can help make meeting perspective dates easier, offer advice on dating and ideas on where to have the perfect date that is geared toward your own sexuality without trying to sort through straight links.

1. Meet Her Here:  A site that is geared toward helping lesbians find a mate and ideas on what to do on first dates and how to keep their interest.
2. The Lesbian Question:  Readers answer the question to how to start dating someone of the same sex, and ideas on where to meet them.
3. Break Up:  Gives ideas on how to handle that first date and things to remember to do to make sure you are presenting your best side.
4. Dream Girl:  She collected advice from the community about the things that they wished they knew when they started dating.
5. From Gay To December:  Advice for older gays to meet younger people for a relationship.
6. Lesbian Dating And Relationships:  They take a look at tips for the lesbian single mom, and things you should consider with a new relationship.
7. Dating Online:  A video for the MTF transsexual that chooses to date and tips to find the right man.
8. Gay Dating Tips:  A site to help those looking for a partner with a variety of topics.
9. Dating Tips and Reviews:  Offers a guide to the top 8 places to meet other gay people for a relationship.
10. The Jason Show:  He shows why meeting in public is a must with his funny stories of dates gone wrong.
11. Lez Get Real:  They look at a new app for the iPhone to help your dating life with the chance to talk in real time.
12. Relationship Blog:  Tips on how to make the man you find attracted to you and ideas on how to keep his interest.
13. The New Gay:  They do a tongue in cheek look at the different types of lesbians that you can run across.
14. Good Dating Tips:  A video showing how to keep the dating momentum going after a Gay Pride event.
15. Gay Banker:  He looks at tips and tricks for those that want to have a no strings attached tryst.
16. Eche Blog:  He offers tips on how to flirt and find a date online.
17. Nightlife Gay:  Tips on the best sites to place a personal ad online and things to do to make it successful.
18. Equal 4 All:  They offer tips for the new relationship and show ways to act to help keep the beginning smooth.
19. Nandoism:  He offers love advice for all parts of your relationship.
20. Life Tips:  They take a look at many angles about dating as a gay or lesbian and offer ways to be more successful.
21. Dr. Dating:  He offers you a list of dos and don’ts as you enter into the dating world for gay people.
22. Guppie Life:  They look at some off the wall ideas for gay guys to use for an interesting first date.
23. Gay Twogether:  They look at things you should, and shouldn’t, do on your first date.
24. Jello Farts:  They look at some of the benefits to using a free online singles service for the LGBT community versus a paid one.
25. Meet Me On Board:  They bust the gay cruise myth, and show how this can help single gays.
26. Your Online Relationship Guru:  They take a look at some of the top mainstream sites to get even more tips and advice concerning all aspects of the relationship.
27. Dr. Romance:  Offers advice for older LGBT dating younger partners.
28. Ken Howard:  He takes a look at safety in a gay relationship, and offers advice to remain safe.
29. Discover Romance And Friendship:  They look at several online dating sites geared towards the gay community.
30. Dating:  Shows the common mistakes that are made on online dating sites for gays.
31. Mother-Ship:  They look at even more mistakes made on online dating profiles and how to avoid them.
32. LGBT Therapy:  He offers the top 10 in online dating sites for gay and bisexual men.
33. Study Works:  They take a look at why nice guys are finishing last on gay dating sites.
34. Dating Website:  A brief review in video of an online dating site for gays.
35. Product Review:  A long list of tips to make dating in the gay world a success.
36. Reriani:  They take a look and compare some of the top gay dating sites on the Internet.
37. Cellflare News:  They take a look at the future of gay dating through apps for cell phones.
38. Socyberty:  They offer tips on how to be successful at finding a date online and making the most of the sites.
39. So Flirt:  They take a look at how niche online dating markets, including gay, makes people more successful.
40. Guy Dads:  They take a look at the future of gay dating with new iPhone apps.
41. GPS Obsessed:  Looks at Grindr app for the future of gay dating.
42. Relationship And Dating Tips:  Site offers tips to meet people and get a connection for a date.
43. Gay Blog:  Ideas on how to meet potential dates and impress them.
44. Gay Mafia Watch:  A site that looks at the darker side of online dating and what happens when you sign up with a company that exploits you.
45. Patrick Perrine:  He offers a review of an online dating site.
46. Evolution Of A Lesbian: She takes stock of herself and can help you prepare to meet the someone special in your life.
47. My Nippon:  They offer dating tips to lesbians, especially how to broach the subject when you are not sure they are gay.
48. Dating Is Miserable:  This site looks at some of the problems with dating in the gay world.
49. Dating Women Online:  They take a look at why it is easier than ever to find a date online.
50. Michael In Norfolk:  He talks about problems with dating and how settling is not good enough for any one.
51. Sex Gender Body:  They offer dating tips for single gay men to find success and love in the relationship they want.
52. Homorazzi:  They take a look at the online dating site geared for those looking for Daddies and review it.
53. The Dating Dope:  They give you a review and the pros and cons of an online dating site.

Image Credits: bobster855

Navigating the gay and lesbian world can be very difficult. Those who are new to the lifestyle are often in search of resources that give them tips on the gay lifestyle as well as the world of dating. For those who are desperately craving information on the gay and lesbian lifestyle, there are blogs that include personal experiences and advice. Here you’ll find information on a wide variety of topics.

1. Lesbian Dating: This blog has advice for lesbian who are navigating the dating scene.
2. Coach Sappho: A blog dedicated to giving lesbians advice about relationships.
3. Mombian: A blog dedicated to lesbians with families.
4. Gay Agenda: Lesbians apply for a mortgage and told by clerk they’re better off apart.
5. Lesbian Dad: A blog dedicated to information for gay and lesbian parents.
6. The Other Mother: A blog that tells the story of a lesbian mother.
7. Good as You: A blog that chronicles gay and lesbian life.
8. Queer Cents: A blog that shares ways to save money for the gay and lesbian community.
9. Queer Student Teacher: A blog from the perspective of a gay student.
10. The Road Best Straddled: This blog is all about the LGBT lifestyle.
11. Back 2 Stonewall: A blog dedicated to LGBT rights.
12. Be Your Own Queero: A blog dedicated to transgender individuals.
13. Daily Dose of Queer: A blog for gay men.
14. Defenseless Queerling: A blog for lesbians.
15. Gay Twogether: The life chronicles of a homosexual man.
16. The Gay Love Coach: Relationship advice for gay men.
17. Gay Party Blog: A blog about the night life in the gay community.
18. Leewind: A blog that gives gay men and women a place to learn more about the lifestyle.
19. The Smoking Cocktail: A blog dedicated to the homosexual lifestyle.
20. 1 Smoot Short: A blog about gay and lesbian issues.
21. Patrick Perrine: Relationship advice for gay couples.
22. Movies for Lesbians: A guide to movies for lesbians.
23. LGBT Survival: Will the UK’s LGBT be forced to go back into the closet?
24. Relationships: A blog about homosexual relationships.
25. Trick Wire: News for the homosexual community.
26. My Big Fat Gay Wedding: A blog about gay and lesbian weddings.
27. Up Popped a Fox: A guide to parenting for gay couples.
28. Peaches and Coconuts: A blog that is dedicated to lesbian relationships.
29. High Class: Gay lesbian news and information.
30. A Conservative Lesbian: A blog from a conservative lesbian.
31. Joe My God: The blog of a gay man navigating life.
32. Rod Online: Rod tells about his experiences as a gay man.
33. My Gay Guru: All about gay life.
34. Gay Guy: A blog about fashion written by a gay man.
35. That Queer Georgia Boy: A gay man from Georgia moves to San Francisco. This is his journey and experiences as he makes this change.
36. Modern Fabulosity: A blog dedicated to the gay lifestyle.
37. Dating Pro:
38. Bigez Bear: A blog from the viewpoint of a homosexual man.
39. 1 Body 2 Soul: Confessions of a gay man.
40. Chad Fox: A man chronicles his life and experiences in San Francisco.
41. God Loves Fags: A blog about religion and being a homosexual.

Image Credits: Infollatus

A woman’s sexuality is very delicate.  If she is open about her sexuality and then she is labeled a slut.  If she is super conservative, then she will never be able to truly appreciate the world of sexuality.  Many women are shy and the fact that they have engaged in sexual activity makes them feel bad because they aren’t married or are do not want to be labeled negatively.  It is tough because emotionally no one wants to be judged by something that gives them pleasure.

The only way to overcome your feelings of insecurity is by taking ownership of your body.  You decide who you are with and what you want to do with them.  When you take ownership of your body, you will know what feels right and what doesn’t.  Just until recently, women have been able to come out of their shell and express themselves more liberally without all of the harsh feedback.  However, prancing around in your underwear just because you can isn’t exactly taking advantage of your sexuality.

Women are beautiful and sacred in any size.  We have the ability to give life and nurture.  We can also experience great pleasure with the person we love.  Therefore, you should be able to radiate how beautiful you are and convey your sexuality without having to strip down to your knickers.  When a woman is content with her body and is her own owner, then she becomes desirable, mysterious and satisfied.

The world lies in a woman’s hands.  There is no reason to feel ashamed by what gives you pleasure.  By taking control of your body and your sexuality, you can lead an amazing and responsible sexual life.  No one has to know what goes on in your bedroom besides you and you do not need to give yourself or anyone else explications.  When you feel comfortable with yourself, then you will always feel good about what you decide to do with your body.  Own your body today.

Last week we talked about how insecurities manifest in relationships and how this manifestation can negatively impact your lesbian relationship.  Now learn about how you can take control of your life and your relationship by overcoming these insecurities.

Overcoming Insecurities in Your Life

Overcoming insecurities is by no means an easy feat to accomplish but once you realize how many wasted emotions and ridiculous fights that you have had with the people so dear to you, you will realize how much of an affect insecurity has had on your life.  Unfortunately, you cannot wake up tomorrow morning and decide that you are going to stop being insecure.  You will have to be in the right mindset for personal change, growth and development in order for you to conquer your insecurities.  Be aware that you are going to have to answer and face difficult questions that you may be blindsided by or unwilling to accept or answer.  However, when you begin to be honest with yourself and those around you, you will discover the path to overcoming such insecurities.

For instance, here are some mental activities that people who are battling personal insecurity find useful while beginning their journey of self discovery:

• In a relaxed atmosphere, go back to a time that you clearly remember feeling insecure which may have provoked feelings of jealousy while around your partner.  In this instant, write down or record yourself replying to the questions “what was it about this particular person that made me feel uncomfortable?” and “how did I react?”
• Repeat these questions until you have no more answers as there may be more than one reason as to why you felt this way.  Reread your answers or listen to your answers and reflect upon them.  You may also want to think of other past situations where you felt and acted similarly to establish a pattern of behavior.
• Now you may want to think of everyone in your life who you have had a relationship with and ask yourself “ My ex girlfriends disapproved of me because…”.  Answer this statement truthfully as you will discover some of your most intimate insecurities in relationships this way.
• Then think of the specific people (girlfriends) who made you feel particularly insecure in your relationship and reflect upon those matters.

These few exercises may be useful to you.  Keep in mind that they are only a stepping stone in order to relinquish insecurity’s grasp on your pending relationships.  Many people find comfort in speaking with a psychiatrist who can further help them to overcome personal insecurity in their life.  Just remember that everyone is insecure and that it is natural.  You are the guardian to your gate and can decide who to let pass through and those who must remain outside.  Sometimes unwanted people break through but this serves as a good reminder to how strong you are as an individual and reaffirm the fact that you can prevent yourself from submitting to a level of insecurity which makes you feel unhappy and prevents you from being happy with others.

Last week, we talked about personal insecurity and how that affects our lesbian relationships.  Now we will focus in on how those insecurities come about and what they mean in a relationship.

How Do Insecurities Manifest?

Insecurity can manifest in various ways depending on the severity of the insecurity and one’s natural inclination towards certain actions and emotions.  Insecurity can be associated with impolite attitudes, overconfident persons, feeling shy and timid, an aggressive behavior or an isolated nature.  Many of the people who seem confident are actually rather insecure.  Many people with a bully like persona normally ridicule those who demonstrate more clearly their inner insecurity.  Therefore, they use bullying as a way to shadow their insecurities.

It is evident that one’s insecurities can create problems in everyday life but the most severe life activity that insecurity prevents us from is becoming involved in serious relationships.  Opening your heart and revealing your inner most feelings and secrets can be quite intimidating.  If this trust has been betrayed in the past then great lengths will need to be taken in order to overcome such personal insecurities.  These types of insecurities may come from past relationships which were abusive (either physically or mentally) or from childhood memories of one’s parent’s relationship.  The good news is that you will be able to identify the situations where you feel personally insecure so that you can begin to overcome this insecurity in order to live a happier and healthier life.

What Does Insecurity Mean in a Lesbian Relationship?

Insecurity in a relationship has disaster written all over it from the beginning.  Our personal insecurities about how we look, how we feel, how we dress, how intelligent we are, how much money we have, etc often lead to jealousy.  If we see our girlfriend with a women who seems superior in the area where we feel insecure then we instantaneously become jealous.  Jealousy which arises from insecurity can manifest in giving this woman the cold shoulder, creating arguments over her with your girlfriend until breaking up because you let your insecurities get the best of you.

It is normal and human to be insecure but it is a problem when your insecurities are compared to the confidence of others.  Constant comparing of  women will only lead you to become more insecure and behave in an unattractive manner making it impossible for your partner to really get to know you and become part of your life.  Normally in the moment where your relationship should go to “the next level” you often find yourself thinking of ways on how to break up with your partner rather than opening yourself up and discussing your insecurities in the attempt to overcome your insecurities.

Tune in next week for the final part of insecurities to learn how to overcome them.

One of the most detrimental flaws that we suffer from is insecurity.  Insecurity arises from many situations in our lives and it affects everything we do in life.  Insecurity can prevent even the best people from interacting with others, having committed relationships and from achieving their inner most desires and goals.  To say the least, those who suffer from insecurity also happen to be quite unhappy.  Therefore, how does one identify insecurity, overcome it and then become happy with their life, newly free from insecurity?  To answer these vital questions, we must explore a little deeper into what insecurity is and how it manifests in this three part article.

What is Personal Insecurity?

Insecurity manifests in many ways but in the end it comes down to a personal feeling that leaves one uncomfortable or nervous due to surrounding perceptions of worthlessness, low self confidence or feeling inadequate or unloved.   Insecurity normal develops at a young age and continues to grow throughout adulthood.  However, during extremely emotional situations at an older age one can create permanent levels of insecurity such as going through an “ugly” divorce.  In general, a certain level of insecurity is useful as it can be an indicator that you are in a dangerous situation or that someone has crossed your personal space which makes you feel uncomfortable.

Generally, large events in our lives that have been tragic to a certain extent mold our inner shell of insecurity.  These events have the power to completely change the way we view life.  Due to the tragic circumstances, this opens the doors to a life full of insecurities depending on how much of an impact that the event has had a toll on one’s life.  For example, many women demonstrate insecurities regarding relationships.  A woman whose father left her at a young age will often have feelings of abandonment in relationships for her entire life which can develop into a strong insecurity when it comes to relationships.

Next week, we will talk about how insecurities manifest and the effects that they have on your relationship.