If you’re a single lesbian with children dating can be somewhat of a challenge. Depending on how old your kids are, you have to make arrangements for their care before you head out for a night on the town. You may be too tired from working all day and tending to the kids when you get home to even thing about heading out on something called a date. But in the end, you know you’d like to have a partner to raise your family with, so you’ve got to get yourself out there. Or even if you’re not looking for a partner, you just want someone to hold you for a change, share some adult moments with and perhaps a bit of intimacy. So, how does a lesbian mom put herself out there and get into the lesbian dating scene?
Online Dating
The easiest and most obvious place for a lesbian mom to start dating is online. In your profile you can be very clear about the fact that you have children and what you’re looking for in a partner. Writing your profile is a good time for you to take stock of yourself and the things that define you other than being a mother. Remember how you used to love country dancing and closing the karaoke bar? What are your interests and attractions? Put all that in an online dating profile and see who responds.
Other Places to Meet Lesbians
Being a lesbian and a mom is nothing to look twice at these days. In fact, there’s probably a group for lesbian moms or LGBT families in your area. Attending a group like this can be a great way for you, not only to meet new friends, but to come in contact with potential love interests. You might meet another single lesbian mom at the group, or you might meet a lovely couple who have a friend they want to set you up with. And, as a bonus, other lesbian moms might be willing to babysit for you when you do go out on a date.
Have Your Friends Set You Up
Get your friends to introduce you to people they think you might click with. But before you actually go on a date with them, get their email address or IM handle and chat with them online before meeting in person. Spend some time getting to know her and see if she is someone you are compatible with before you agree to meet her in person.
Dating as a Lesbian Mom
So, you’ve tried all the above and you’ve found someone who interests you and you’re ready to go on an actual date. First, find a good babysitter, someone you can trust. This is YOU time and you want to be able to enjoy your night on the town without worrying about if the kids are all right or not.
It’s your decision whether or not to tell your kids of you’re going on a date or not. If you’re newly single and your children are attached to your previous partner, they might have feelings about you dating someone else. Some parents let their children know they’re casually dating, others wait until they’ve met someone special. You’re the best judge about what to share with your kids.
Your First Dates as a Single Mom
Your first few dates should be short and simple. Meet for dinner or a few drinks after work. Your eventual goal might be to meet a permanent partner, but it’s okay to lighten up and have fun and a few laughs as you’re out there meeting new people.
Hooking Up?
Just because you’re a mom, doesn’t mean you don’t have sexual desires. If you decide to sleep with your date, be sure to use discretion around the kids. Invite her to your house on a night the children are at a sleepover, go to her place or take a night away to a hotel.
Before you Bring Her Home
Lesbians tend to fall hard and fast for one another. If you find someone that you really like and want to start dating seriously, that’s great. But it’s probably best to wait at least six months before you introduce her to the kids.
Photo via DistortedSmile
