Retts is a country dyke living upstate NY and loving it. She is single and living the good life.
She enjoys performing in drag, producing events for women and bascially supporting lesbian culture whenever she can.
You grew up in Long Island, then moved to San Francisco and now live in a small town in NY State. How is lesbian dating different in a place like Catskill versus a big city like San Francisco?
Retts: I did some dating in SF, there were plenty of women available, but I did find a lot of butch phobia. On Craigslist, listing after listing would say no butches please. Also many women (fems) would prefer transmen to butch lesbians. In Upstate NY they haven’t a clue what a transman is.
When you came out, one of the best places to meet women was at women’s music festivals and concerts. In fact, you were a stage manager and producer of women’s shows for many years. Has there been any lesbian cultural activity that has taken the place of those festivals and gatherings?
No and hell no. Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end, but they did for the most part. Michfest (http://www.michfest.com/) is still going on and there are some regional and local festivals but for me it’s not the same. We were a community of workers who went from festival to festival building lesbian community and living with lesbians. The sexual freedom was wonderful, our inhibitions were gone and we were free to love and open to whatever encounter might come our way.
You worked for years at the Dyke March in San Francisco. What’s one thing you loved most about the Dyke March?
I loved the power in numbers and taking over the street! In the early days of the dyke march in SF, it was mostly dykes, believe it or not, marching down the street, feeling our power and just strutting our stuff. But now, men march to “support us” even when we ask them not to. Also the gathering in the park is just one big alcohol crazed party. The politics are gone for the most part.
Is the Dyke March a good place to meet someone for dating?
I’d say no, there is so much going on, and really it’s not an event that lends itself to one on one, getting to know someone. It’s a great big party.
You also perform in Drag as Frank Sinatra. Why do you think dressing in drag is part of the LGBT community?
I like it because as a lesbian feminist I allow myself the freedom to be all that I am. So I love to celebrate my masculine and feminine side. It’s feminism that teaches there are all kinds of women and men, from the most fem to the biggest butch. Love yourself, be who you are and have fun. Drag for me is showing off my masculine side, it’s camp.
Is it true drag kings have more fun? (Get more girls?)
Yes it’s is true. Sometimes the girls want Frank, many have told me I am sexy as Frank. Retts does get jealous at times.
I also know that you identify as a butch lesbian. How does that identity impact your dating life, if at all?
It impacts it a lot. I am attracted to more fem women so I concentrate on those women who compliment me. I’ve never really been interested in a woman who is just like me, including another butch. I feel like as women we are the same, as in same sex, so in order to create some distance I like women who are as different from me as possible. I feel like sexually it is a good match for me…and other ways too. I like to be the one who does the asking out and I like to drive…also I don’t particular want a women in a shirt and tie. However if she is good with power tools that’s a plus. I hate the hardware store.
