Lesbian Dating Site Reviews

Teneia Sanders is an indie musician from Jackson, Mississippi who now lives in Phoenix. She’s a rising star and is not afraid to be
out and proud about her life and in her music. One of her songs was recently featured in the HBO documentary Prom Night in Mississippi featuring Morgan Freeman.

Teneia spoke with us at the Lesbian Dating website about her music, her career, her choice to be out and what she thinks makes the perfect lesbian date.

I see that one of your songs was chosen for an HBO movie called Prom Night in Mississippi. How did that happen?
Alignment pretty much. I had a very good friend, Thabi Moyo, who was working on the documentary and at the time it was called Return to Mississippi. Anyway, she and the director were in her car and he heard a live CD that I had recorded (but never released) and he loved my voice. He wanted me to come in and sing some black spirituals and I agree to and asked if I could write a song for it. He said yes and was enthralled by the approach that I used to talk about racism. Two years later, HBO picked it up and he gave me the okay that they approved my song. It was one of the best days of my life! It was gratifying to know that my work was finally getting somewhere.

You have a very sweet video depicting a lesbian couple in love. The lyrics are gender-neutral and could apply to any couple, so why did you choose two women as the lovers?
Well I chose two women because that’s what my love life looks like. I didn’t want to use some guy when everyone knows that I’m in a relationship with a beautiful and intelligent woman. It would be false to who I truly am, a queer woman! Also, I wanted to use the
video to express that love is love no matter what. (Ed Note: The video can be seen at Teneia’s website: http://www.teneiasanders.com/default.html)

What else can you tell me about the making of the video of Love You Thru Words?
It was a great experience! The director, Chris Labadie is so SUPER talented and was so much fun to work with. We filmed at ASU West in their Theatre room and a few local places in the Phoenix area. Maryam Cne (the actress) was such great company as well. She’s so skilled and talented in her own right and was up for the challenge of being in a same sex video. I love that.

I got this from your bio page: -Winner of 2011 Chicks with Picks ‘ChickStock’ contest. That sounds fun! Can you tell me more about this contest?
That was a kick ass day! AZ Chicks with Picks are the best thing that’s happened to me since moving to Phoenix. They are a female owned and operated organization that books female singer-songwriters in venues and festivals all over the valley. So at their annual contest last year I won Best Original Song and Best Performance and walked away with $1500 and recording time. I also judged the contest this year and got to open for Lucinda Williams. So, it keeps paying off. Good times and great women!

Who are your musical influences?
I love everything from classical music to Janis Joplin to Tupac. I love so many types of music that it’s hard to choose but the artists that have changed my life the most are: Ani DiFranco and Dave Matthews. They are so profound and tasteful at their craft that my heart melts every time I hear one of their songs.

I understand you got your start singing in church. What was your favorite song to sing in church?
His Eye is on the Sparrow. I sing it acapella all the time. Though I don’t go to church much now, I still sing it sometimes when I’m in the car.

And now you’re an out lesbian performer. Was it hard to make the decision to be out?
I was a ‘Fag Hag’ (not sure if I can say that in an interview, but what the hell) before I was out so it wasn’t hard for me to come out. My best friend, BJ is gay and was very accepting. My family has been supportive. My Mom had a hard time coming around at first. I just live my life for myself and my own happiness. I didn’t want to lie about my relationship because it is too important. So it hasn’t been hard, if anything it’s been better. Now I have a solid community for support and I am so thankful for that.

What’s your idea of a perfect date?
Perfect day would be: my partner, Adrienne and I going on a one day spiritual retreat together where there was healing work (meditations, yoga, reiki.etc) during the day and a dance party at night filled with red wine! Sounds like a day where I would be in total bliss with my sweetheart!

Is there a kind of music that makes good date music?
Anything that makes you want to be closer. Like Norah Jones makes me want to make-out all night and I love that!!!

Where can people find out more about you and listen to your music?
My music is on Itunes, Bandcamp and CDBABY.com. Also at my website, TeneiaSanders.com

Shalimar Eaton is a lesbian rock musician from Loveland, OH who came out at the young age of 15. In addition to being a rock and roll performer, she’s recently penned a lesbian erotic soap opera. She talks to us about all of her adventures.

Shalimar, I understand your background is that of a rock musician. What possessed you to write a book of lesbian erotica?

Possessed, good word. Well, with my short attention span, I have always found poetry and lyrical writing to be more suitable for me, however, one night I thought I would write a short story about a straight woman and the desire she had for her lesbian friend. Many times I have watched straight girls falling for perhaps the only lesbian they knew.

I had no plan, no idea where I was going or who these two characters were until I started writing. Upon what I thought would be my finished work, I realized this was not the end of the story but the first chapter in what would become a dirty little soap opera. I then introduced a whole lesbian community full of women with different “mental genders.”  It was my first time ever creating characters and personalities and the really cool thing about it was seeing them so clearly. I could hear their voices; watch their body language and I knew their personal integrity or lack thereof as soon as they were introduced to my mind. One of my goals, when I decided to write this thing was to have my reader be entertained in a different fashion than perhaps they had experienced before.

There are things that have happened for a few of my readers. They feel some sort of shift, or perhaps have an awakening in themselves sexually they had not known prior to reading this story.  I want women to be exposed to things they may have never considered. Also be inspired to research and learn about our diverse community. As my characters developed, I grew to enjoy getting to know them. It is a completely different creative process than writing and performing music and I love seeing my characters flow naturally into who they are. My attention deficit makes writing a humorous challenge at times.  I have no guide lines; I am just writing freely with no expectations or pressure. I have no desire to mold my creative process with the demands or strict submission guidelines of a publishing company. I write what I want the way I want. I loathe being controlled…well, when it comes to my creative process anyway. (giggle)  I’ve had some ridicule and of course it sucks but I’m not worrying about opinions, judgments or making sure I don’t offend different groups within the lesbian community. It is just a story and my characters are who they are. Once a rebellious rocker, always a rebellious rocker.

How is writing erotica different than writing a love song?

I would say that writing a love song has to make an impact on the listeners’ soul, whereas erotica makes an impact ummm somewhere else. The best love songs are the ones that the listener can relate their personal experience too. I love the marriage of poem and music. Add music to voice and it ends up touching the soul of the listener much deeper, affecting many energy centers at once. Tapping into so many aspects of human emotion, the energy of music has a great advantage because it is so powerful….Now, writing erotica is straight up finding a way to poetically and graphically describe what is going on in the bed, the kitchen counter, the stairs or church yard etc. It doesn’t necessarily try to engage the heart like a love song would. You have to stimulate your reader sexually very quickly, that is why they are reading your book and not a how to guide to floral arranging. I realize that the content of my book isn’t for everyone so I am looking for my audience. People have told me they usually flip through their erotica books trying to find the sex scenes. What many have said to me and I quote is “Wow you don’t make us wait do you?”  I don’t read erotica so I am naïve and unaware of what is out there. I relied on the comments of my readers to tell me about my own writing technique. I am hoping that my dirty little soap is entertaining enough to enjoy the foreplay between the many sex scenes.  I believe character development is important and is what separates erotica from porn. I chose the term “Soap Opera” because I really think it suits my story.

Which gets you more play? Rock star or erotica writer?

What kind of “play” are you referring too? (giggle) Since rock star is a huge part of who I am, and earlier in life, was all that I was, I would say rock star. Most people know me as a musician not an author of erotica. Hopefully when our album has been mastered, officially released and my book gets some exposure my “Play” will pick up for both projects. I am also getting ready to release a children’s story book. The moral of this story isn’t just for children but for all. It is about diversity and self-acceptance.  Admiring what makes each of us different. It is ready to go and will be released very soon.

The book The Carnal Lampara has some pretty steamy scenes. Did you give a copy to your mother?

Ummm well, no. She got her big dose of lesbian erotica when I was 16 and she saw me kissing my first girlfriend. Let’s just say it isn’t a book she would even want to know about.

You have quite a diversity of characters in your book, from femmes to “straight” women and stone bois. Are any of these characters based on people in your life?

No, but wouldn’t that be a horny bunch of friends? I have been asked that question by friends many times. A few have asked if the names were changed to protect the guilty? I can honestly say, though inspired by the strong sensitive amazing Bois/Butches in my life, that the characters in my book are fictitious except for one and that is only because he asked to be in the book one day as a joke so I wrote him in. “Chadarina the Towel Fairy” is the only character derived from an actual real person. If Carmelita was real, no doubt I would be on the lookout for her. I’m attracted to that lethal kind of Boi. As far as my character diversity, my main goal was to give a voice to those who perhaps never see themselves in lesbian erotica.

Recently, after reading an article that I wrote for the online magazine “Boi Meets Play” about “How to give a proper boi blow job” one of my readers said “Every time I read something that you have written, I start to think maybe I am a boi.” Another reader questioned her identity, the difference between boi and butch and what the term “boi blow job” actually meant.  I loved this question because I find women can go many years without fully understanding themselves sexually or how they identify even down to personal style. I am not saying label yourself, I am saying when you understand who YOU are sexually, what really turns you on, then the sexual chemistry between you and your lover can be very intense and connect you in a more spiritual way.

I love Tantra and I love knowing how my lover identifies. It absolutely contributes to our chemistry.  Also feeling safe enough to express with your lover, the intricacy of your “mental gender” is very important for the bond between the two of you.  If my writing can bring a new awareness to someone I am all about it. I want my readers to laugh as well as engage them in a world perhaps they do not experience in their circle of friends. I still witness unpleasant comments within our community aimed toward those who defy the gender binary of our society. I love seeing my characters flow naturally into who they are. I have had comments like “Oh that is just weird” or “I don’t get that at all” while making an “icky” face.

Living in the conservative Midwest, I know even though gay is known as “different” (whatever) closed mindedness and judgment is still very much a part of our own gay community.

What was your favorite part of writing The Carnal Lampara?

Getting the visuals, I could hear their conversations, see their expression, I watched them having sex like I was a videographer. I wrote the first 7 chapters in 7 days. Due to having a day job, band practice and studio time, I had to write between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m. I was seriously the image you get of a manic writer stuck in a world of fantasy. I took a break for the holidays and when inspired again, I wrote the next 6 chapters in 7 days. The remaining chapters came randomly. It took me longer to figure out how to publish than it did to write the book. One year, and it was finally released at the end of December. Manic writer nights are an intense experience. A writer isn’t “normal” you know, so being a Lesbian Musician Erotica Writer well, you get the picture?

You say The Carnal Lampara is Episode 1 of a lesbian soap opera. What can we expect from future episodes?

Well I am 8 chapters into my next book which is called “The Carnal Lampara Episode 2 The Bells of La Lampara” There is a new Boi in town, Laine Bello Connally, an Army Vet from Kentucky. I personally love the sincerity of this character. Laine identifies as lesbian but more like a male/lesbian. I love the diversity of genders within the “Lesbian Umbrella” I could really talk about this for days but I will just say, though Laine identifies as male, there are still very “female” qualities that the reader will notice. When I say “female qualities” of course I am referring to what our culture has taught us is inherently female or male. Not just Lesbians, but the liberation of all women has led us to be extremely creative with our sex lives. Over my almost 33 years of being out, I love that the Boi/Butch movement has a much stronger voice than it once had.

In the next episode, new characters are being introduced and the supporting characters from the first book are coming forward so we will learn a lot about them that we didn’t know in the first episode. Since I popped my writing cherry all by myself, and am an unknown self- published author, I am looking for my audience and I appreciate you for giving me this opportunity. “Bells” will be out before 2013.

I listened to your music on MySpace. I really enjoyed it. Are you still making music? Can you tell us about your band?

Thanks I appreciate you taking the time to listen to us. Let me just say that I decided to write under a pseudonym to isolate my erotica writing from my music but in the end I found that trying to separate “me” from “me” within my community was hard and that my projects were better served exposing myself…don’t take that wrong!

I will continue to write erotica under Shalimar Eaton but my real name is Bleu, I am the Lead Vocalist/Bassist/Lyricist for Wicked Daisy out of Loveland Ohio. We have just sent our album to The Lodge in New York City to be mastered for radio play. My guitar player Pam King and I are also interested in having our songs considered for movie soundtracks. We drink Layer Cake Shiraz, eat wasabi peas and write songs. At this point we see no end to this very important part of our lives. We have an amazing drummer, Eddie Jones and a keyboard player who is scary talented, Joe Russell. Soon the album will be available but until then, you can find the un-mastered versions of our songs here: http://www.myspace.com/wicked.daisy and www.soundcloud.com/wickeddaisy

For music info, you can also become a subscriber to my public status at www.facebook.com/daisyvox I keep everyone posted on the progress of our album “TORN” other info about the band and our future C.D. release party. Wicked Daisy also has a FB page that we are trying to get off the ground so go “like” us please!

Where can people find out more and order your book?

You can find my book here: https://www.createspace.com/3735385

You can also find more info on my book at my website:  www.shalimareaton.weebly.com and friend Shalimar Eaton on Facebook for updates and other random Shalimar thoughts.  I just sent three copies to Pearls in Key West so if you’re down there I think you’ll be able to check it out at the front desk!